I began doing things that were completely outside of my norm, like spontaneously quitting my job one morning. I have zero memory of that. There was even a time when I chose to check in on my pastor, which I never did. I was also speaking about grandiose ideas to my best friend. Alarms were going off everywhere! My husband said at one point I started quoting scripture that he never realized I had memorized.

As I approached the beautiful journey of pregnancy and motherhood, I found myself wrestling not only with my feelings but also with how my mental illness might impact my ability to nurture and care for a new life.