My name is Yasmin, and I am a mother of two boys, Maddox who will be two in January and Alfie is 6.5 months old. They are 16 months apart. I have never experienced depression a day in my life so these negative, overwhelming feelings are foreign to me. I began to exhibit symptoms of perinatal depression when I was around 30 weeks pregnant with Alfie. At the time I thought my feelings were just nervousness and anxiety surrounding the transition from one to two babies, but now I know what it really was. I started to feel intense rage, to the point where I didn’t recognize myself.
I mentioned these feelings to my OB at my 30 week appointment, he said to have the baby first and see how it went. I went on to deliver Alfie in May, and that’s when it REALLY started. Postpartum depression was making me feel things I have NEVER felt. I bravely called my Ob’s office at 2 weeks postpartum and said through tears, I believe I have postpartum depression. The nurse asked me a bunch of intake questions, and I was too scared to admit how I really felt when she asked if I had thoughts of harming myself. Truth was, I did, and they got worse the more sleep deprived I was. However I was ashamed, so I lied and said no. After a few more questions she ascertained that I had the baby blues, and it was normal. I knew that this was postpartum depression.
I kept calling to be seen by my OB, and he diagnosed me with what I KNEW I had and put me on Zoloft. After 6 months of being on Zoloft and being messed around with therapists etc., I finally have found the right psychologist for me and I am slowly on the right track to heal from this.
She would like for others to know to advocate for yourself even when you fall on deaf ears.
Instagram is a great way to find others that are sharing their postpartum experiences. We share many useful stories and accounts, follow us @cherishedmomorg. You can also follow Yasmin on Instagram; her handle is @mylifewithppd.
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